Earth, Fire, Ice
by Skeptical Mutt
Summary: A three chapter (unless you guys want a fourth) fic about our favorite trio. A story of friendship, with a bunch of flashbacks from the series and movies. Not slash, merely a story of friendship. Set during Star Trek: The Final Frontier.
1. Earth

Author's note: This is set during Star Trek: The Final Frontier, although it contains references from other episodes. This is a story of friendship between everybody's favorite trio. It is what I consider a missing scene from the movie, the scene when they are in the forward observation deck after Sybok storms off. There is no slash intended, in this version of the story. It is separated into three separate chapters, one each for Spock, Kirk, and Jim. Not in that order but they are all happening at the same time. A POV fic I suppose. Perhaps a fourth chapter tying it all in together, we'll see. Ah well, please read and review. Oh and I don't own Star Trek.

Earth

It was often said that I was an important part of the Enterprise, a part of the core, the heart. I don't know how true this is, as I have never been able to look from the outside into the workings of the ship. I know that I have been Jim Kirk's friend for longer than anyone else on this ship, although the quality of my friendship with Jim has always been as high as the quantity of years. Lately I've been slinking onto the bridge more and more, intent on seeking the presence and friendship of the two people, 'although that pointy-eared devil is hardly human', that mattered more to me than anyone. Well, anyone other than Johanna. She was first, always first. After everything that the three of us had been through, the mere presence of my other two thirds, as I've come to regard them, has served as a balm.

I know that my friendship with Spock started out rocky and only close association and repeatedly exciting away missions formed a bond between us. And honestly? I enjoyed the verbal banter as much as he seemed to, although the Vulcan thought he was inscrutable. His eyes told a different story. And although I always bantered with him, and called him an unfeeling computer, I knew the depth of Spock's emotions were beyond even human comprehension. Whatever I felt for the green-blooded hobgoblin was platonic, no hint of anything beyond the love of a 'warrior brother I think is the term he used,'. It didn't mean I wasn't aware of Spock, much like I was aware of Jim.

Even now thinking of Spock, memories swarm up of the Vulcan. I shake my head and laugh through a sense of pain. Of course that one memory would swarm up. The day I made the mistake of accusing Spock of not feeling; the day I questioned his loyalty and friendship for Jim in a fit of rage at the situation. How I could have ever questioned him, I still to this day don't know. Jim and Spock look at me funny, not knowing what I was thinking about. We had escaped, with Scotty's help, from the Brig and were currently huddled in the Forward Observation room attempting to contact Starfleet command.

"_I know why you're not afraid to die. You're more afraid of living." I grabbed Spock's shoulder and stopped him from fiddling with the jail cell. "Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, and decent feeling!" At this point I am pressing Spock into the wall with my arm, my elbow going into the hollow of his throat, and glaring into his eyes. I am so tired of all his pretense and pretending that he doesn't feel. I want an answer. I can feel him swallow tensely against my arm._

_Spock arched one eyebrow incredulously, and pressed slightly against my hold. "Really, Doctor?" His voice dripped with both sarcasm and pain that I could ever question his loyalty. The one thing he was able and willing to give to his friend. I lower my arm and feel a healthy dose of shame and misery fill me. "I know Spock, I'm worried about Jim too." In that moment, our tenuous friendship sank into my bones and I knew it would never be the same between us. I could never question Spock's loyalty, to Jim or myself, again._

After that incident I started hearing the crew talk about how tensions between us had cooled. I will never be sure, because nobody will approach me and talk to me, but I get the feeling that people have grouped the three of us together. We are rarely talked about without somebody mentioning the others. I have overheard myself being described as the earth to Jim's fire. I ground him in ways that Spock is not able to. Jim's fire burns brightly, and occasionally he runs over me. Thinking of Jim, in fact, brings back what happened in the brig not too long ago. A clear example of my grounding Jim back to reality, in fact.

_Jim stood on Spock's shoulders and was yanking on the bar in the ceiling. Having already removed the panel, Jim was fiddling with the wires and the electrical current, trying to figure out how to get out. "Unwise." Spock was staring up along Jim's body to watch what Jim was doing. Even as Jim jerked on the bar carrying the electrical charge and went falling onto the floor I could only shake my head. "You could have warned me." Jim growled from the ground. I was not about to let him jump on Spock just because he was annoyed. "He did." My voice came out gruffer than I intended, but then I was more than a little stressed out._

I shook my head at Jim as he reaches out towards me now. "I don't want to talk about it Jim." I had been forced to relive what Sybok had called my 'Secret Pain' and was still feeling raw from it. I had been going to follow Sybok, intent on making the next step as he called it. I was weak, not strong enough on my own. It was Spock and his courage that gave me the strength I needed to shake off the remaining dregs of Sybok's influence. Even now, settled into a chair and watching Jim pace violently, I knew that he needed my earth to drag his ass back to reality. He needed Spock, who I personally describe as the ice to Jim's fire, to cool him down. Between my earth and Spock's ice, we should be able to calm them both down.

_I stood at the bottom of El Capitan, staring through my binoculars at Jim free climbing up the mountain. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could tell that the air wasn't getting to my brain. "You'll have a great times, Bones. You'll enjoy your shore leave. You'll be able to relax. You call this relaxing?! I'm a nervous wreck!" Aware I was talking to myself, I lowered the binoculars for a minute then shook my head and stared up at Jim, wondering where the Vulcan was. I got my answer a few minutes later as I saw Jim hurtling towards his death, and Spock chasing after him. I tore off towards where Jim would collide with the earth, certain that I would now be spending my shore leave burying Jim. I reached the spot and, gasping for breath, saw that Spock had one hand wrapped firmly around Jim's ankle and was holding him about three feet off the ground. 'DAMMIT JIM.' I thought furiously._

"Jim." I said his name softly, knowing that it would draw his attention more than yelling would. I struggled to my feet, feeling my age, and noticed Spock from the corner of my eye snapping to an attention that was analytical in nature. He was watching me very closely, and that was when I noticed that his face was not as closed down as it usually was. "Jim, what are we going to do." I moved until I was in my customary place at Jim's side, on his right. Jim turned his head slightly to look at me and I stared into those hazel eyes, wondering what he was thinking and feeling. Spock swung around to flank him on the left, completing the triangle of power. I stared at Spock from behind Jim, and as our eyes met, I felt calmer and steadier. There was nothing that the three of us could not handle together, I was sure of it.

"_I also request…McCoy accompany me." Spock's voice was hesitant as he glanced at me. I felt a flush of friendship and warmth shoot through me. "I shall be honored, sir." And I was. To be counted among Spock's closest friends was something that I had never thought likely or indeed something I had thought I would ever want. But standing by his side, and Jim's of course, felt right in my bones. Just as I was Jim's right hand man, I stood on Spock's right side. Of course the idea of witnessing my normally stoic friend go as crazy as I always accused him of being would not be fun. But I knew we would make it out. We always had, and we always would. "They are not outworlders, they are my friends." _

"_It is said, thy Vulcan blood is thin. Are thee Vulcan, or are thee human." T'Pau was bitingly callous with the way she tossed those words at Spock. I was oddly insulted by the way she was taunting him. I bit my tongue hard and swallowed any and all comments I might have made. It wasn't my place to stand up for Spock, especially here on Vulcan. Lord knew I had things I could say to this woman. She didn't see the way he fought for that Vulcan calm, never saw the battles he fought daily against his strong emotions._

I dropped my gaze away Spock's, unable to control the flood of emotions that filled me. We had to get out of here, and alive. Even if our bodies survived, our spirits would never be the same if they couldn't stop Sybok. I jerked, startled slightly, as Spock suddenly shifted to stand in front of Jim and I. Not sure what he was doing, I almost missed his words. "You want to do what?! Dammit Spock I'm a doctor, not a Vulcan." There was no way I was participating in this three way mind meld that Spock had just suggested. I had only melded with the green-blooded hobgoblin a handful of times, and the instance that bothered me most was when I had my mind invaded by the Mirror Spock.

"_Our minds are merging Doctor. Our minds are one .I feel what you feel, I know what you know." This Spock was not my friend, and his fingers and mind were violating me. He was practically raping my mind, and a snarky thought came floating through my mind to combat this Spock. 'You aren't even going to buy me dinner first?'_

Luckily I didn't have to look him in the eye. Jim commanded his attention, which was fine by me, because I sure as hell didn't know what else to say. With the memory of the Mirror Spock swirling through my head my already shaky emotional control was weakening fast. But Jim would put a stop to this madness. Surely. He never had let that hobgoblin lead us astray before.

"Alright Spock, if you think it will help. I wasn't aware that a three way meld was possible though." I started at this, then fixed my best 'you-are-insane' look at the back of Jim's head. How could Jim even agree to this madness? I opened my mouth to ask him, when his next words stopped me cold. "If this is our last time to spend quiet together." Jim wasn't sure that we would make it out of this alive. "I'm glad that it's the three of us." Jim had a way of expressing himself in ways that could drive a man to tears. Or whiskey.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I moved to stand beside Spock so I could see Jim's eyes. There was nothing in them that I liked. Jim was convinced we would die stopping Sybok. How was I supposed to help him keep faith with everyone else if he didn't have faith in himself. "Jim." His name was all I could manage. I knew he understood me when he squeezed one shoulder and smiled at me. "Alright Spock, should we sit down?" Jim turned around and sat down in one of the chairs, gesturing for Spock to drag another one closer. I plopped down in one and watched Spock drag another one closer.

Spock reached for me with one hand and Jim with the other. His hand felt hot as he found my pulse points. "Are you ready?" He asked us both softly. I nod my head, not trusting in my words. "Then close your eyes. My thoughts to your thoughts…"


	2. Fire

Author's note: Okay I am working on all three parts at the same time, or trying to anyways. Hope everybody enjoyed Bones' memory strolls and feelings. On with the show, as they say. Here is Jim's take.

Fire

I don't believe in a no-win situation. I never have. I am the Captain of the USS Enterprise, the flagship of the Federation. The most decorated captain in the entire Federation, once an Admiral. I've been told I am like fire, burning bright and destructive. I definitely feel like fire right now. The most dangerous man in the room. I think highly of my ship, and my crew. But none so highly as my two best friends, the man and the half Vulcan. Spock and Bones, collectively serving as two thirds of my person. I am nothing without the two of them, and the fact that they are here with me, that they CHOSE to stay with me, makes the situation slightly bearable.

I was losing control of the situation. Somehow I had lost my bridge, and most of my already sparse crew. Damned if I was going to lose my one true love, the Enterprise. I glared at the doors in the forward ready room, half hoping that Sybok would come back through them. He had dared, DARED, to make Spock and Bones relieve those painful memories. I glanced behind me at the too still Vulcan and Bones between my pacing. I had to move, if I didn't I would surely go insane. I stopped pacing for a minute and stared at Bones, letting memories swirl.

"_I just saw a large rabbit pull a gold watch from his vest and claim that he was late." Bones' voice was incredulous, and he wasn't entirely sure he believed what he was saying himself. "That's pretty good Bones. Alright I got one for you. The rabbit was followed by a little blonde girl, right?" I laughed at him, knowing that he was under a lot of pressure but not aware he was under that much pressure. I was entertained, for sure, but I was not going to believe it until I saw it. Thanks to the machinations of Spock, I was now beaming down to the planet. 'I guess I'll find out firsthand what he saw.' _

"_Bones, know any good rabbit jokes lately?" I chuckled as I said it. Then I saw the rabbit tracks for myself. I sure believed him now. _

I smiled slightly at the memory, it being enough to crack through the rage I was feeling.I reached one hand out Bones as I saw the look on his face. "I don't want to talk about it." Bones said, his voice dejected. I dropped my hand then turned back to face the door, contemplatively. I had my back to Bones and Spock, and I felt rather than saw Spock stiffen in concentration. Even though I was aware of these two like I was aware of my own skin, it still surprised me when Bones flanked me, his shoulder brushing mine slightly. I turned my head slightly to look at him. "Jim what are we going to do." I realized he had said my name, and didn't answer the rest of that statement, because I simply did not know.

"_You're gonna have to kill him, Jim." Bones looked over Spock, who had remained frozen, his eyes full of rage. "Kill Spock? That's not what we came to Vulcan for, now is it?" I panted, and stared as Bones hypo'ed me. "What's that?"" I was going to die from the lack of oxygen if Spock didn't kill me first. "It's a triox compound." Bones said, and stalked back to his place growling things under his breath that I was more than happy to ignore._

Bones had saved my life multiple times, but that day he had saved both Spock and I. Neither of us would have been able to live with killing the other. It would have destroyed my sanity, and Spock might have quit Starfleet, if he wasn't able to convince Starfleet to execute him.

Feeling Spock's heat against my other shoulder, I turned my head to look at him, and felt those dark eyes burrowing into my memory. Bones was my earth, dragging me back into reality when I got the bit between my teeth. But Spock… Spock was my ice. He was always collected, cold, and calculated. He had feelings, something I knew better than any besides maybe Bones. He cooled me down when I tried to burn too brightly. He was the third of me that was rational, logical, and for the most part infallible. He was the part that always stood fast and refused to let the emotional storm sweep him away.

"_Pity you can't teach me that." I panted, watching the man inch towards his fallen female companion. That nerve pinch technique seemed to work only for Vulcans, more the pity. "I have tried, Captain." There was an element of laughter in that voice, something I had learned to interpret. Spock had the nerves to quirk his eyebrow at me. I caught my breath and sidled up to the gate, keeping one eye on the couple. I hated being separated from Spock when we were in situations like this. It was far easier for us to work together when we could interact with more than just words._

Sometimes I felt like Spock was always the one hauling me out of trouble, but I knew that wasn't right. How many times had I dragged him out of a sticky situation? In fact, I had blown my ship up to save him. As his eyes tightened, I was struck by memory. Spock was loyal to the core, and how many times that loyalty had saved me and the ship, I couldn't tell. But one time, that loyalty had cost him his life. I did what I had to do to bring back Spock, aware that I couldn't function while there was an ache inside of me.

"_Jim. Your name…is Jim." Spock's voice was hesitant, like he still wasn't sure how I would take to being called Jim. I felt a wild surge of happiness fill me as he looked carefully at me. I could see him straining to remember who I was. Even if it took a lifetime, I was willing to pay the price to hear that baritone speaking my name again in more than just passing. I nodded, unable to speak, and he lifted one eyebrow._

Like he knew what I was thinking, Spock lifted one eyebrow. The image was so familiar, painfully so, that I smiled at him, my eyes softening. My rage was starting to calm. We formed a triangle, we three, and there was no fighting that power that always had the effect of instilling peace inside of me. The triangle of power, we had been called multiple times. Until just now, I hadn't really understood what was meant by that, because I was the power of the Enterprise. I understood it now though, as I studied that face full of calmness and serenity. I was always half convinced that Spock was somehow channeling some of that Vulcan calm into me somehow. I wasn't sure on the logistics of telepathy like that.

"_This uh, person, didn't by any chance have pointed ears, and an unerring capacity for getting his shipmates into trouble, did he?" Alas, fate was cruel to the three of us. Spock reached one hand down and hauled me to my feet with very little effort. "He did have pointed ears."_

This memory was recent, still fresh. It had happened only minutes ago, and because of the recentness of it, I was able to picture in clarity every nuance that had crossed Spock's face. If you knew how to read him properly, as both I and Bones had learned through the years, Spock was quite expressive.

Spock suddenly took a half step away from me that put him in front of me and tipped his head in the same way he had only an hour before, in the brig. "Jim, Doctor I would make a suggestion. Both of you are quite tired, and Doctor you particularly were affected by what Sybok did. Perhaps if the three of us melded at once, we could all have calm focus for the task ahead." I blinked at him without fully thinking about his words.

Bones apparently had no such qualms. "You want to do what?! Dammit Spock I'm a doctor, not a Vulcan." Bones certainly had a valid point, I thought as I gazed into Spock's eyes. They were carefully blank as he waited for my answer. How I was supposed to answer him, I truthfully didn't know. I had melded with Spock a lot, and I knew Bones had a handful of times. But a three way meld was a new concept. How it was supposed to work between two humans and a half Vulcan, I didn't know. But Spock would not have suggested it without knowing he could do it.

"_You got a good bedside manner, Spock." Bones was dying, I could see it, and I knew Spock had locked down his own emotions in an attempt to remain the one in charge. I couldn't. How would I survive without Bones? There had to be SOME way to force the Vians to heal Bones. _

The Vians had left scars on all three of us, but none more than Bones. I had sat by helpless to watch as Bones was dying. Spock had sat on Bones' other side, touching the doctor and trying to pass along a sense of peace. It was in the past, we had cheated death once, all of us. Spock had come back from Genesis, Bones had survived the Vians. I wasn't so sure we could cheat death again.

I inclined my head slightly. "Alright Spock, if you think it will help. I wasn't aware that a three way meld was possible though." Bones jerked out of his glaring at Spock and stared at me in complete surprise. I was surprised myself, to be honest. I would not have thought that I would agree to that. "If this is our last time to spend quiet together." I found that I couldn't finish what I was thinking, too full of emotions from watching Spock and Bones. "I'm glad that it's the three of us." I finished lamely.

"_I knew I wouldn't die because the two of you were with me. I've always known, I'll die alone." I watched Spock's eyebrow go up as he considered this, and could see Bones sputtering in protest from the corner of my eye. There was nothing I could do for either of them to reassure them. It was the truth as I knew it. They would, both of them, have to carry on without me. Spock would outlive me by a long time, and Bones… well, Bones would have to shoulder one more burden. _

My own words haunted me now as Bones moved until he was shoulder to shoulder with Spock. He had tears in his eyes, and I knew I couldn't handle much more before breaking down. "Jim." His voice was as strong as ever, but he didn't fool me. I knew Bones, knew what was going on. The very emotion that came from his voice was mirrored in my own feelings. If I answered him, I knew that both him and Spock would know I was putting up a front. That's why I merely squeezed his shoulder in reply and nodded at Spock. "Alright Spock, should we sit down?" I glanced behind me at the chairs grouped together. Turning around, I dropped heavily into one and watch as Bones settles into the one next to me.

I watched Spock drag another chair close to us then he reached one hand out towards Bones and I. "Are you ready?" I knew the question was aimed at both of us, and as Spock's hand landed on face I felt a blast of anxiety and anger. "Then close your eyes. My thoughts to your thoughts…"


	3. Ice

Author's note: Wow, this has been a very emotional piece for me to write. I hope that the journey has been equally touching and entertaining for you. Now, onto the most important third of the trio, Spock.

Ice

I was standing in the forward ready room, watching Jim Kirk pace violently while my thoughts went in a decidedly unVulcanlike direction. How strange that of all of the memories that Sybok could bring up, the one that he decided was most hurtful was the idea of my father holding me as a baby. Just offhand I could think of several more fitting memories that Sybok could have had me relive. My declining the acceptance into the Vulcan Science Academy served as a more poignant example of my father's feelings towards me, if they could be called feelings.

I glanced at Doctor McCoy, who had served to become my right hand somehow during the five year journey. An annoying human for sure, but the Doctor had somehow used that irritating southern charm that he claimed to possess to become almost as important to me as Jim had. He had stood beside me during my Pon Farr, and had even managed to trick me into believing that Jim was dead, thereby marking me the winner of the Kali-Fee and of T'Pring.

_I was cold, colder than I had ever been in my life. As cold as I was, I was dealing with the extreme temperatures better than McCoy was. He had fallen, and I was crouching, trying to use what little strength I had left in my body to heave him up. Despite his attempts to convince me to leave him, I knew I couldn't. "We go together, or not at all." It was out of my mouth before I knew what was happening, although the words were quite true. I could no more leave the doctor than I could Jim Kirk. _

As I continued to think, I was struck by the commonalities between Jim and McCoy. I had never been comfortable using McCoy's nickname, or even his first name. I only used it if I had to, or if he was not paying attention. Even now I could sense much disquiet from him, and thinking about him, reliving those memories, made me more aware of him. I thought about the times we had been trapped together, the times that had defined our friendship as a partnership devoted to keeping Jim in line. It was odd that it took our finally agreeing on a cause, the friendship of Jim Kirk, to help us look beyond our own differences and become friends in our own right.

"_You wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling." McCoy was uncomfortably close, and his arm was digging into me. I turned my head, and glanced into his eyes. There was a blaze of fury in those blue eyes, and I knew then that it was the circumstances that made him question my loyalty to Jim. "Really, Doctor?" I tried to make my voice bland, but knew I couldn't hide incredulousness. I was worried about Jim, and I knew McCoy had to be worried as well._

McCoy was talking to Jim now. I realized I had not been paying attention, and refocused my attention on the pair of them as McCoy came to his feet and took a few steps towards Jim, brushing his shoulder. McCoy was, as customary, on Jim's right side, leaving his left side, his weak side (although Jim would never admit to having a weak side) open for me to cover. Jim was staring at McCoy, and from where I stood I could feel the tension in them. I moved to brush Jim's shoulder with my own, as Jim usually did with me. I met McCoy's eyes behind Jim's back while I was still moving, and felt his gaze drag me into whatever memory he was feeling.

"_I also request… McCoy." I was hesitant to give him the title of closest friend, but realized it was true even as he answered me with an "I shall be honored, sir." I felt something shift into place at the moment, something that had been out of place in our friendship. _

Our relationship had moved past an unwary alliance into the beginnings of a true friendship then. It wasn't until the events at the planet 892-IV that we overcame the rest of our unease. But it wasn't truly until we had come together after Jim had supposedly been lost in transition that I truly understood that McCoy and I were the right and left hand of James Kirk, and that in order to do so we needed to be truly friends. It had become easier after that, and we didn't have to try to force the easy relationship that developed between the three of us.

I stared into McCoy's eyes until he switched his gaze to Jim. Something, I'm not sure what, passed between the two men, and I felt Jim stiffen slightly as he swung his head around to meet my gaze. It wasn't hard to tell what he was thinking and feeling, and the memory that tickled his mind tried to spring into my own. A stronger memory sprang into my mind though. A different time, the twentieth century according to the Guardian of Forever. It was a simple thing; a statement made that defined our friendship as much as anything could.

"_You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will…" Edith Keeler's words warmed my heart and my gaze darted over to Jim without moving my head to see how he would react to her words. Although he didn't seem phased, I could feel the satisfaction coming from him. I didn't hear the rest of what she was saying as I thought about our friendship. _

It was not difficult to reflect on Jim as I gazed into his hazel eyes. He was like a blaze of fire, drawing me helpless into his flame. Although I am stronger physically, his mind often overwhelms me and brings surprise into what would be otherwise somewhat tedious dealings with overly emotional humans, such as the Doctor McCoy. Jim was my left hand, my one defense in the weaknesses that I possessed. In the same way that I was his strength when he felt weak, Jim's heat was one of the only things that could melt into me, make me feel emotions in such a way that they strengthened me instead of causing shame and weakness. I let the heat of him wash through me, break down my shields.

"_Pity you can't teach me that." Jim panted, nodding his head at the woman that I had just performed a nerve pinch on. I stared at the man until he dragged his woman away and then turned my gaze back to Jim and softened. "I have tried, Captain." I couldn't keep the amusement out of my eyes, or control the slight upturning of my lips as I considered him. He would never be able to perform the pinch because it was a Vulcan secret, but it was, dare I say, fun to try to teach him. _

Even as the memory's intensity faded, I found that I could not look away from Jim. More memories swam up, demanding acknowledgement.

"_Spock, where the hell is that power you promised me?" Jim's voice was impatient and he didn't stop to actually see how I would answer him. Although it was still a little tender, my memory said that to answer such impatience with impatience was human practice, and so I willingly answered him, using one of those so called colorful metaphors that I was still struggling with. "One damn minute, Admiral."_

Although the memory now had the power to make me wish I had never started using the colorful metaphors, I would not trade the time Jim spent trying to explain them to me. We worked well as a team, the pair of us, and the Doctor was the third to our pair. In fact, the three of us had frequently ended up in unbelievingly, and Jim and McCoy often claimed hilarious, strange circumstances.

_I stood watching Jim as tribbles continued to pour out occasionally from the open hatch. As much as I wished I could feel and express the humor that was beginning to make itself known in the pit of my stomach, I believe Jim said laughter had this effect, McCoy came into the room at a fast clip. He pulled up quickly upon seeing Jim buried in tribbles, and rocked back on his heels. From where I was I could see the amusement in his eyes, but he chose to swallow his comments, much to my relief._

Locking away my emotions, and memories that stirred them up, I took a few steps away from Jim's gaze and turned to face him and McCoy. "Jim, Doctor I would make a suggestion. Both of you are quite tired, and Doctor you particularly were affected by what Sybok did. Perhaps if the three of us melded at once, we could all have calm focus for the task ahead." I knew how McCoy would react even before he did.

I watched him do a sort of hop in surprise, and then managed to restrain any comments I had as I waited for Jim's answer. "You want to do what?! Dammit Spock I'm a doctor, not a Vulcan." The good Doctor was quite correct in his statement that he was not a Vulcan, and that was definitely for the best. I resisted the very strong urge to verbally combat McCoy, but I knew he was still feeling vulnerable.

"Alright Spock, if you think it will help. I wasn't aware that a three way meld was possible though." Jim looked impossibly sad all of a sudden, and it took all of my concentration to keep the aura of calm about me. "If this is our last time to spend quiet together." Jim seemed to be having trouble getting the words out, and as he finally finished his statement I understood why. "I'm glad that it's the three of us." He finished and I had to agree with him, although I did not speak. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, remembering his face at the beginning of the journey.

"_I knew I wouldn't die because the two of you were with me. I've always known, I'll die alone" Jim said, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. I arched an eyebrow at him, not sure how to reply to it. For once, McCoy seemed equally quiet and unable to form a reply._

McCoy flanked me, brushing my shoulder with his. "Jim." His voice was rough, and through our contact I could feel that he wasn't steady. Jim squeezed his shoulder then looked at me again. "Alright Spock, should we sit down?" Jim sat down and McCoy dropped into the chair next to them. As I dragged a chair over to them, I caught the feelings of both men. I sat down and extended a hand out to touch both of them. "Are you ready? Then close your eyes… My thoughts to your thoughts… my mind to your minds." I was improvising slightly, but it didn't matter. Their thoughts and emotions slid into my mind as easily as my calm slid into them.


	4. Triangle of Power

Author's note and disclaimer: well guys, you asked and now you shall receive. This is the chapter containing the meld, and hopefully it will hold up to the scrutiny of you, my readers. I was tossing it back and forth, and I think I am going to write it in three parts within the chapter, clearly marked when a character shifts. Please read and review, let me know how you guys feel about it!

Triangle of Power

My mind was swept into the maelstrom that was Jim's fiery thoughts, and I could feel McCoy's solid mind being swept in with me. I could feel the tension that hummed through Jim, could feel the anxiety that was blasting off of McCoy. I could still feel the great pain McCoy felt, could still feel the blind rage Jim had kept under great restraint. I was not as in control of this meld as I thought I was, and I needed to rein this in before I lost complete control and got swept away. With all the strength I had painstakingly gained through the years I pulled McCoy and Jim into my center of peace. 'Jim, Doctor.'

I knew the feel of Jim's mind, having melded with him too much to not be aware of those thoughts. I absorbed some of his rage, knowing that it would fuel me if I hesitated in front of Sybok again. In return I gave him my savage emotional control, and felt his body both tense and release under my hand. Linked as we were, I was aware of him gripping my arm in thanks and could feel the moment that his fire banked. I was aware of McCoy, whose thoughts and memories were swirling through me with the addition of Jim's emotions. 'Spock, I didn't mean what I said about you earlier.' Jim's voice was gruff even in our thoughts, and I felt the sense of being truly naked before him as my own emotions rose and ebbed with his words. 'Jim…'

'Jim.' McCoy's voice was impatient and firm. He was always one for impatience, and I made no attempt to hide this thought from him. His body was twitching slightly under my hand, and I realized then that he had been hiding a far greater pain and anxiety from Jim and I. It had been almost heartbreaking to watch him relieve the moment he chose to end his father's suffering. Having been exposed to McCoy's thoughts, emotions, and feelings while he carried my katra, I was surprised that he had managed to keep this much pain hidden from me. I knew him from the inside out, as it were. 'Doctor, you are a stronger man than I gave you credit for.' I pulled his anxiety into me, and examined it, trying to deconstruct it enough to help him. I relieved the memory with him, and knew Jim was absorbing something different from the memory than I was.

With every bit of anxiety and pain I pulled from him, my own increased until I shook from the strain. 'Spock, I…' McCoy seemed unable to finish as my calm slid into him. Strength, calm, and focus were what our triangle brought us. Of this I was sure, although the logic behind it was mystifying. Jim was the strength of our triangle, 'I thank you for that' Jim put in as both McCoy and he followed my train of thought. McCoy served as our focus, and I could feel the intense satisfaction from him as he realized that I held him in higher regard than I would ever admit to out loud. That left me as the calm, and certainly I could feel my own calm slipping. Although I was able to give my calm to Jim and McCoy, they were not able to give me their calm.

Without even being aware of how he did it, Jim's strength supported me. McCoy's focus took that strength and amplified it, helped me to regain my balance. 'The triangle… its working! We're able to feed off each other.' Jim was excited. I shared his excitement, because I had suggested the idea knowing that the only version of the three way meld I was aware of was the meld that was initiated in order to complete a mating bond. I drew from both of them, and I felt a balance restore itself between all of us, bringing us all back to our strengths. For the most part, I was not letting the thoughts of either man direct me, thus I ignored Jim and McCoy's tentative explorations of each other. 'Jim, Doctor. I thank you for the trust you put in me.'

I drew my thoughts back into myself, and with it the memory of McCoy's pain and anxiety. Although he would be free from the majority of it, I would carry his memory's emotions and pain with me until I died, and as I was able to handle the pain that he could not, I felt it was my job as his friend. Putting up my walls between Jim and McCoy and I, I gently withdrew from both men's minds at once, and opened my eyes slowly, grateful for the renewed strength and focus I felt. I returned Jim's steely gaze with one of control and a burning enthusiasm to find out if Sybok had been correct. I flanked Jim on his left, resuming my role as his defense against weaknesses, and watched at McCoy took the steps necessary to position himself on the right, the trusted confidant. Together we were unstoppable, and as long as we were together nothing would ever be too great a challenge. I acknowledged that perhaps a bit too much of McCoy and Jim's personalities had merged into mind with a slight upturning of my mouth then mastered myself as we strode out to regain the Enterprise.

*****************************************Jim*****************************************

My rage was burning hot even as I felt Spock's mind slip into mine. He felt familiar to me, and even as I became aware of Bones I felt Spock begin to pull some of that anger away. Bones felt different in my head than Spock did, and the anxiety that was coming from him caused a little more of my anger to boil to the surface. As though it were a boil being lanced, Spock drew my anger out until enough of his calm seeped into me to ground me. Spock was incredibly in control, and the weakening of his own control made me aware of him and how he felt about me. 'Spock, I didn't mean what I said about you earlier.' Without needing to explain, I felt him absorb the words and knew he understood the meaning behind it. 'Jim...' His voice sounded steady enough but even he couldn't deny the flash of emotion that rocketed through him.

'Jim.' Bones sounded incredibly anxious, and in fact the primary feelings coming from Bones were pain and anxiety. I stayed quiet as the memory slammed into me, and felt Spock's determination and calm replace some of the anxiety. I felt Spock's admiration for Bones, felt the respect in his words. 'Doctor, you are a stronger man than I gave you credit for.' He was drawing the emotions away from Bones, and I was glad that Bones did seem steadier. I felt a flash of pride and pleasure as Spock identified me as the strength of the triangle. And Bones definitely was the focus of our trio, bringing the ability to force chaos into order that he had acquired from the many years he had been a doctor.

I felt a flicker of despair from Spock, and realized that by giving us his Vulcan calm, he had lost it himself. Without understanding it, I was always big on following my gut feelings; I leaned into Spock's hand and wrapped one hand around his arm. I was lending him my strength, although how was a mystery to me. Something in my thoughts must have conveyed the way to Bones, and he mirrored me by throwing his focus and ability to turn away chaos. Spock was drawing on us now, pulling what he needed in order to regain his balance. I felt him return to normal, felt those emotions get locked down tightly. 'The triangle… it's working! We're able to feed off each other.'

This was a far more intimate way of knowing my friends, and for the first time I was able to read Bones, really read what was behind that gruff country doctor façade. Bones was more orderly than his emotions, certainly. I was struck by how much of a similarity between Spock and he existed, and knew it had to be something to do with the draw of science. The call that was like a siren to both of them, making them have a driving need to understand. I felt his annoyance at my intrusion, but felt him exploring my mind in return. As a human, neither of us had been able to really express what we really knew and felt about each other, and now that we had glimpsed each other in the more raw way possible, I was relieved to feel that my feelings of deep friendship, and indeed brotherhood, were returned with as much force.

'Jim, Doctor. I thank you for the trust you put in me.' Spock drew our minds apart until my thoughts and emotions were my own, save the focus and calm I had gained from the meld. I felt alone as Bones and Spock were split from me, as though in those few moments I had felt truly complete. The three of us did form a triangle, and without all three of us, we weren't complete. As Spock drew his hand from me, I opened my eyes and glanced at both Spock and Bones, measuring them. They returned my gaze, and I saw determination in both eyes.

I got to my feet and felt a bolt of pleasure and grim satisfaction in their flanking me as I charged out of the ready room, wanting my ship back.

*************************************McCoy******************************************

I was being dragged into what I felt was a chasm full of fire fit to be compared to the pits of hell itself. I realized that it was Jim's anger around the same time that I became aware of Spock's alien thoughts on the edge of my comprehension. He was as powerless as I to resist the pull. I felt him dig in his Vulcan heels and take control back of the meld, but only because his tapped into the well of calm he kept inside him. Although I had been exposed to all of his memories and knowledge, and with them a taste of his emotions, he still felt alien to me. Jim felt unfamiliar and yet familiar, as his mind felt more like mine than that Vulcan computer that served for Spock's brain. As I felt Spock drag us back into the eye of the storm, I realized that my thoughts were now open for both of them to read.

Jim was angry, and apparently it had to do with Sybok in essence raping my control and forcing both Spock and I to relive bad memories. This secret pain that Sybok spoke of, it was a secret for me. I had crammed down that memory into the farthest hole in my brain possible. Jim's fire was being quenched, thankfully, and I let them have their emotional moment for a second before my anxiety became too much for me to bear. 'Jim.' I regretted it as soon as I drew attention to myself. I hated being the center of attention, and with both men focused on me I felt my anxiety magnify.

Spock's hand grew hot against my skin, and I realized that I was trembling. It was difficult to keep what was going on in the physical world separate from what was going on mentally, and I was not pleased about it. It only added to my anxiety, and by now I was a trembling mess that was on the verge of collapse. I felt Spock leaching my emotions and felt a small flicker of fear. What if I never got those emotions back? I felt a sense of serenity fill me, and knew that some of Spock's hard fought peace was now being infused into me. I gratefully drew everything he offered me, not even thinking of the reciprocal nature of the triangle.

It was only when I heard his thought about the nature of our contributions to the triangle that I realized that he had more respect for me than even I had known. I felt the despair starting to take Spock, realized that he had given Jim and I most of his calm and that he was now struggling to analyze and contain the emotions that he had drawn from us. Jim was somehow giving Spock strength, and somehow I felt my own brand of focus sifting through Spock as though through osmosis. We three balanced each other out, and there was a definite feeling of mutual balancing that passed through Spock and into Jim.

Speaking of Jim, I was now aware of Jim in a way that I had never previously been able to comprehend. I could feel him cautiously exploring how I felt about our friendship, and I swept into his mind to get a taste of his thoughts. Glad that we shared a sense of friendship, I felt a small shred of disappointment when Spock's voice drew me back into focus and then separated us out. His hand dropped from me, and my eyes snapped open as my thoughts once more became my own. I blinked in confusion for a minute, then recovered enough to return Jim's steely and grim eyes with a determined look of my own.

I would never forget the way it felt when the three of us were joined together as one, and even now I felt a sense of loss that I had not been aware of before. My feelings over my father's death had diminished, and I suspected Spock had taken that pain unto himself, had made the sacrifice in order to help me. I met his eyes for a second then felt a sense of purpose as Jim got to his feet and strode forward to do battle to regain his ship, followed on his left by Spock covering his weak side, and on the right by me, completing the triangle.


End file.
